he was CRYING into my vagina
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize