as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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