i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
