oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
