Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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