I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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