I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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