dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
