dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dick very happy bro
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
