Will you blow on my dice?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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