i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
