Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
