none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
