guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
