he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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