Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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