don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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