Me too!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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