Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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