I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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