Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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