he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
