Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
