I love having hate sex.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
