PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
