What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
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Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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