Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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