I wish my penis had an off switch
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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