Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
