so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
