Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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