no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
