So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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