You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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