ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
