franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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