I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
