I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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