The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
