sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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