have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
