Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
