dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
