bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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