We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
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Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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