I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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