grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
