This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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