barbara walters just said penis...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
