His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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