oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
