Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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