I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
