Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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