Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
