last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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