no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
