My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
