I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize