Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
