I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
